I swear, God is gearing all the sermons at me lately.  I'd say how does he know?  But...it's God.  He knows my heart too well.

Today church was about disappointment with God.  We've all faced it.  We've all been mad at God at some point.  When we first found out about Miss Ollie, I wasn't mad at God, but was I disappointed?  Honestly...that's a big yes - big big yes.  I didn't want a baby with Down Syndrome.  I didn't want to face open heart surgery.  Selfish me, didn't want these things for my daughter.  Now don't get me wrong, I wanted this baby and that never wavered.  I just wanted God to take it all away.  I wanted him to "fix her".  Stupid me.  I prayed diligently for miracles for it to all be wrong - knowing good & well in my heart that these things the doctors said were true. 

I wanted a "perfect" baby.  I wanted a baby like my other two kids.  I wanted the easy pregnancy where you worry about stretch marks and swollen ankles.  I wanted the delivery in my local hospital with my typical OBs.  I wanted to just worry about teething and the normal things in life.


To say we were disappointed, well it's really an understatement.  We were heartbroken.

But...I looked around and I told Jade one day - why not us?  We are SO much better prepared to raise a daughter with special needs than a 16 year old.  We are a very strong couple, we can face heart surgery side by side.  We can provide her with the best life possible & love her unconditionally.  So why not us?

I don't fully understand God's plan for us, but I get it some of it.  Now that she's here, I'm not disappointed with DS at all.  So many people said when I'd meet her I wouldn't care & I worried they were wrong - they were not!  She's pure joy.  I am still disappointed with heart surgery, but I'm working on that & praying hard.

After church we hit Aldis.  With two families in our house we eat a lot of food.  We spent $203 at Aldis - if anyone shops there you know that is a LOT of food!!  We then surprised the kids with a trip to the movie theater to see Rio - they were thrilled.  It was pretty hilarious.  The one bird said - I poop on people & blame it on seagulls.  Everett got a huge kick out of that when I repeated it in the van - he said Mommy you don't poop on people.  My bad - sorry to all those people I've been pooping on. 


PS - for anyone that encounters Everett until the cast is removed Tuesday - he may exude a bad smell.  That's right folks - little man wet the bed last night...and he was laying on his cast.  He.smells.awful.  I tried febreeze & lysol with no avail.  God help us for the 2 hour ride to St. Louis Tuesday to get that beast removed!  My van is going to smell horrendous & the poor person that removes his cast is gonna die.


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